The song could be sung by the Mandarin in the series finale of Ultimate Spider-Man, as Mandarin humiliates Peter at the 2007 Graduation Event for Seniors, and plans to make the show less funny, more violent.


  • Oded Fehr as Mandarin
  • Duncan Rouleau as himself
  • Dee Bradley Baker as Mandarin's tiny creatures


  • Coulson: And new the 2007 Graduation for seniors! (Peter, Ava, Sam, Danny, Luke, Harry and Mary Jane are ready as everyone claps for them)
  • Mandarin: (watching them through the screen, with Duncan Rouleau, the writer of Man of Action, as a hostage, then starts singing) Seize the good times!
    Too bad they never last!
    Especially for a hero
    With a questionable past!
    (watches Peter hold Mary Jane's hand, as they both smile) Ah, yes, these were the good times
    (turns to Rouleau) Hope you liked them, little friend
    (grabs him by the collar) 'Cause here is where the good times
    Must decidedly must end
  • Rouleau: You're not sing are you?, because Disney will sue us.
  • Mandarin: Oh, yes, I am, I don't care, (music starts) Come along, boys (his gremlin minions pop up and come to him), we've got some work to do!
    Oh, it's a thrill!
    Oh, it's such fun!
    To see another fellow's dreams
    Turn into nightmares, one by one
    It's such a lark
    It's such a joy
    To roll our sleeves up and humiliate the boy! (his minions start chuckling, Mandarin uses his rings through the script and the screen, to move Peter's hand to make him pick his nose)
    Oh, it's a kick (kicks Peter telepathicly)
    Oh, it's a bash (punches Peter in the stomach telepathicly)
    When we remove the graduation hat (Peter's graduation hat grows wing and it flaps away, revealing an egg on top of Peter's head, much to the shock of Ava, Mary Jane, Harry, Luke, Danny, Sam and Coulson)
    And the neatly trimmed mustache
    And now let's repossess the clothes (and to the surprise of everyone else)
  • Minion: Ya think we ought to?
  • Mandarin: Why by coy?
    C'mon, let's do it
    Let's humiliate the boy! (pops the egg on Peter's head)
    Once he was proud (Peter's clothes grew big, much to the confusion of him, Coulson, Mary Jane, Harry, Ava, Luke, Danny and Sam)
  • Minions: Once he was proud
  • Mandarin: Once he was fine (Peter's clothes then shrunk)
  • Minions: Once he was fine
  • Mandarin: The very model of heroic design (Peter's clothes return to normal size)
    But, such is fate (Peter grins nervously to his friends)
  • Minions: Too bad, tsk-tsk (Coulson has his arms folded and his eyebrow raised, while Mary Jane, Harry, Ava, Danny, Luke and Sam look with worried looks)
  • Mandarin: I guess he'll have to learn the hard way (plays patty-cake with his minions)
  • Mandarin (with his minions): Shooting webs involve some risks (Peter raised his hands in an innocent way, when suddenly a plate appeared on his right hand, and the plate suddenly showed a cake, as Mandarin and his minions laugh off-screen, then, Peter slides up close to Coulson, when suddenly, Stan appeared to offer a bite of the cake, when suddenly, Peter slams the cake into his face, much to the shock of Coulson, Mary Jane, Harry, Ava, Danny, Luke and Sam)
  • Mandarin: And it's so rich
    And it's so rare
    To take his shirt, his shoes, his ??? (Peter's graduation uniform vanishes, along with his tuxedo, and shoes)
  • Minion: And then we'll trim his hair (Peter's hair starts trimming by itself, as flies surrounding Coulson, Mary Jane, Harry, Ava, Danny, Luke and Sam)
  • Mandarin: Oh, we'll emasculate him slowly (The hair flies attack them)
  • Mandarin (with his minions): All the better to enjoy (Everyone laughs, except Aunt May, who is shocked at what is happening to Peter)
    How delicious, to humiliate the boy (Peter starts doing weird dance moves, and sticking his tounge out like a fool, then twirls into a ballerina outfit, much to Coulson, Mary Jane, Harry, Ava, Sam, Danny and Luke's shock, then suddenly Peter's face turns green, as his mouth spits out a dozen pigeons flying in the air)
  • Mandarin: Why the fantasy scenes?
  • Rouleau: well to make it look fine
  • Mandarin: And the chibis?
  • Rouleau: humor?
  • Mandarin: And the fourth-wall break?
  • Rouleau: it's well complicated!
  • Mandarin: Much like Deadpool?
  • Rouleau: Yeah, to fool him.
  • Mandarin: Oh, how, very, very sad
    Change them back now!, that's an order
    (the fantasy scenes shut down, and the chibi vanish, though Peter's graduation clothes re-appear) Take everything you made!
    All the crazy stuff away!
    Make it violent, dark and mad!
  • Rouleau: But you can't just-
  • Mandarin: Do as I say!
    (Clouds turn dark gray) Now let it rain!
    Now let it storm (rain and thunder start striking)
  • Minions: Now sends some flies into the picture (flies start attacking)
  • Mandarin: 'Bout how many?
  • Minions: Oh, a swarm (a swarm of flies start attacking)
  • Mandarin: Now let 'er rip (lightning strikes on the ground)
    Don't be repressed
    Keep on destroying things I've always felt it's what you do the best! (flies and storms attack the people)
  • Mandarin (with his minions): Let him have it! Atta writer!
    Since you're now in our employ!
  • Mandarin: It's your pleasure to ruin him! (lighting strikes)
  • Minions: Strike him! (Flies attack and consume people)
  • Mandarin: I want him neutralized!